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We've been close companions with a woman, a person who's overcome numerous challenges, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's constantly blindsided by people. Her spouse left her, which came as an unexpected event. Several of her friends vanished then, as they were drawn to him. She was stunned by her deeply. She made increased attention to be my friend, likely realised more acutely the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, many close to her have disappeared without her being sure why. Her previous job became hostile, although she had been very skilled at her work, and she left unaware of the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, we've both left the workforce so we're spending each other more, but I am finding my position in our friendship is to listen. I introduce subjects but she shifts conversation onto her own topics. Politically, she expresses firm beliefs. My effort is to propose verifying facts and alternate views.

She is planning a holiday to a nation I've visited repeatedly and resided in previously. I attempted to provide advice, however, my input not welcomed. She essentially only wanted me to confirm her plans. I recently come back from 30 days in that country she is eager to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Weighing the Options

I am unwilling to act as a friend who cuts and runs without explanation, yet I doubt she will ever comprehend the consequences of her behaviour on my self-esteem. Right now, I am in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

You could cut and run, yet this is rarely the easy answer that we desire. But confrontation aiming for resolution requires bravery and openness for each of you.

Therapists recommend using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially involves describing how things go when you talk. Aim for this to be as factual as possible like what a recording device would replay. The second involves sharing the way it leaves you feeling. There should be no disagreement on this point. Your feelings belong to you, of course. Step three is to ask how the two of you can shift the dynamics in your relationship."

Keep in mind that she also has a point of view, meaning you must to be prepared to acknowledge it. An approach that works involves stating your friend:

"Now you talk and I'm going to remain silent for half an hour."

It's wildly successful in fostering better communication.

Closing Considerations

This person could ignore everything, for those who hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they have a story of their life they cannot let go of as it feels essential depends upon it and it represents they trust. This poses a challenge because there's no easy route with these people, mere obstacles. But she may at first react defensively and then think about what you've said. If you don't achieve an agreement, it will give you peace knowing you were honest with her.