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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the phrase “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the concept that someone could instantly end communication with a lover without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more confounding – an frequently pointless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted assault on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their dating lexicon has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a comprehensive glossary to the words gen Z is using to navigate love, intimacy and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your true, raw self. You'll need it with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's response is interested or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies going for someone who helps you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A date where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do low-cost dating in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who choose against having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: utilizing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral quirks suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions affirm your decision to pursue a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, mostly harmless quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and often mundane turnoffs that instantly kill any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {